It dissolved boundaries between us, cultivating an intimacy both cozy and profound and allowing us to explore new contours of our friendship, which offered all the dazzle of a brave new world. Sharing a vibrator seemed like an opportunity to understand them in more nuanced and singular ways. Sure, whatever — sounds funny. But when I actually saw him with my vibrator, I couldn't help but feel a bit nonplussed, because it no longer felt like my possession. He knew I owned one and asked if I'd be so generous as to lend it to him. I'd discovered the joys of clitoral orgasms , and drunk with the power of self-pleasure, I was determined for her to experience that same sexual agency. I'm happy to share what I do and don't like, and make recommendations, but to me toys are very personal. It was and is a powerful thing to me to be able to have resource to toys whenever I might want them, rather than being reliant on more basic sex with a partner or alone. In fact, some women are more pragmatic about the practice of sharing sex toys with friends, viewing it primarily an economical way to share orgasms.
The frequency of this practice has dwindled, though she remains willing to help a friend in need. My vibrator had metamorphosed from an object that brought me pleasure to one that made other people laugh. But I understand why other women would be more hesitant to do so. It dissolved boundaries between us, cultivating an intimacy both cozy and profound and allowing us to explore new contours of our friendship, which offered all the dazzle of a brave new world. Giphy The sisterhood of the traveling vibrator: Sure, whatever — sounds funny. This is all to say that when we share our sex toys, whether with a partner or a friend, we do so at our own risks. I'm happy to share what I do and don't like, and make recommendations, but to me toys are very personal. I'd discovered the joys of clitoral orgasms , and drunk with the power of self-pleasure, I was determined for her to experience that same sexual agency. This was not the first time I had loaned out a sex toy. I derive pleasure from the fact that it is mine and only mine and, occasionally, my sexual partner's. That said, I'd likely still share it with friends. Over the course of her trial period, my diary entries narrated, with increasing desperation, my acute sense of loss. They are, in a sense, extensions of their bodies and markers of their sexual identities. While silicone toys are fairly easy to clean, toys made out of "soft jelly materials" have "cracks and crevices" that can entrap particularly tenacious bacteria. I'm certain I washed the vibrator with soap and water, but I must admit that it did not occur to me that sharing it could be anything less than hygienic. On the contrary, I was something of a vibrator evangelist. For some women, the magic of the female orgasm need not be shared, or even discussed. A study from the Indiana University School of Medicine determined that women with HPV may be putting their partners at risk if they share sex toys, in part because cleanliness can be difficult to maintain depending on the toy: In fact, some women are more pragmatic about the practice of sharing sex toys with friends, viewing it primarily an economical way to share orgasms. Even when thoroughly cleaned, sex toys can potentially serve as vehicles for sexually transmitted infections , such as chlamydia, HPV and bacterial vaginosis. He knew I owned one and asked if I'd be so generous as to lend it to him. To many women, vibrators aren't just sex toys. If I was intimate enough to discuss sex with a female friend, I was certainly going to advise them to purchase a vibrator — and by the way, would they like me to accompany them? I've since discovered I was wrong. So it seems natural that some women would want to give their friends the same tools that had led to their own sexual empowerment.
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