She soon lost custody of her children and became homeless for a while, still shocked that her life was now about finding her next fix instead of fixing her kids dinner. If people in rehab programs only focus on their dependencies, they are only scraping the surface of the problem, painting over a broken-down foundation without fixing the splintering wood beneath, Hankel explained. From easier access to substances to sexual harassment, abuse or even outright murder , these programs can inflict further damage. Welcome to Moderation Management, where abstinence from alcohol isn't the answer Read more Joella Striebel, a behavioral health specialist at Gundersen Health System in Wisconsin, says that women have a different pathway to addiction than men. That discovery was devastating.
Women trying to recover are falling into the trap of dating in which the goal is not love or mutual support, but a power play in which they are the losers. Without delving down to the root of the problem, it becomes more likely to grow again. Being hit on at AA was a daily thing for me. To recover, they must believe they have control over their own lives and can make decisions for themselves, rather than admitting powerlessness — which is one of the main tenets of AA. At 15 years old, Hankel not her real last name was already addicted to drugs. Walton, Stern and Striebel all highly recommend a new peer-support option called Smart Recovery. Hankel is raising a six-year-old girl by herself, while staying clear of drugs and alcohol. Chloe Cushman for the Guardian At 23 years old, Asia Blackwood was the proud stay-at-home mother of three young children in a quaint Connecticut neighborhood. During that time, she saw how unhappy her marriage was and divorced her husband. When she tried again, months later, to recover, she found AA to be a dangerous place even without an abusive relationship tinging it. I should put up with that? More importantly, Smart Recovery has a hour online option. Day in and day out, she prepared snacks and watched with pride as her toddlers learned to share with each other while her husband worked. This listlessness and unhappiness made her feel guilty, since she had nothing to complain about. No kid wants to see their parent dating, anyway, but the guys from AA bring it to a whole other level. In essence, an environment that is touted as a safe space can be anything but. Before a couple years ago, she said, there were no women-only meeting at all. Her first week there, she met a man who had four years sobriety and began dating him, only to find him isolating her from her friends and family, policing the way she dressed, and eventually hitting her. Welcome to Moderation Management, where abstinence from alcohol isn't the answer Read more Joella Striebel, a behavioral health specialist at Gundersen Health System in Wisconsin, says that women have a different pathway to addiction than men. The only way to combat this that I have found is through empowerment. Treatment, such as rehabilitation and therapy, is run by professionals who start with their clients from where they are and work with them through a variety of medical and psychological means to build their autonomy, he said. Blackwood is about to go to court to win visitation privileges with her children again. When she complained about this procedure, she was told they could go to any meeting and to find a different group. It was through truly learning to love themselves. It is similar to AA and NA, but does not involve citing powerlessness as part of recovery, and does not insist on invoking a higher being to belong to the club. But what about me?
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